The Long A.A.R.M of Steve O…


MORE…
Aimless
A
ssemblage of
R
ambling
M
usings of an
over-caffeinated, slightly ajar yet well-meaning writer.

HERE, THERE… EVERYWHERE
I should probably save this one for my next Rock & Rant, but…

Is there anything more annoying than having someone say “It’s right there” when you’re looking for something that you have no idea where it is but the other person does?

Ok, that’s a little convoluted but you get my point.

My wife, whom I love dearly and quite frankly is up for canonization by The Vatican for enduring me, literally, these past 2 1/2+ decades, is a prime offender of the “it’s right there” offense.

I cannot tell you how many times we’ll be in the car and she will point out something she wants me to see and lays the “it’s right there” directive on me, only she doesn’t direct me to where right there is!

‘How can you not see that? It’s right there!’

Oh, I’m sorry, I missed some days in school when I was younger. Perhaps I missed the curriculum that taught the meaning of “right there!”

One of my biggest fears is coming true in that my children – my daughter and son are apparently picking up this troublesome trait from their mother. Last night, as they lay in bed, they each asked me to hand them a book to read. When I queried them as to which book they wanted from the bookcase, they each responded with… ‘The one right there, Dad. Can’t you see it? It’s right there.’

I nearly ran out of the room screaming.

BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR…
A northwest Indiana man faces a misdemeanor battery charge after allegedly grounding his genital area into the buttocks of the woman standing in front
of him in line at a Dollar Tree store.

Is it grounding or grinding? I always get those words confused. Grounding makes it sound like he was doing something electrical.

I could have used the phrase MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK as the headline for this story but that would have been downright vulgar. So glad I didn’t.

THAT AIN’T SHAKE & BAKE… A man was recently arrested and charged with drug trafficking for allegedly having 54.3 grams of MDMA, used to make the drug ecstasy.

When asked, he told officers it was “flour for my pork chops.”

PAGING CHIEF JAY STRONGBOW… A 5 feet, 7 inches 1280-pound retired Long Beach police officer foiled a bank robbery at a grocery last month when she put a 220-pound bank robber in a sleeper hold until he passed out.

Now, if she had somehow worked in the Stan the Man Stasiak Heart Punch, then we’d have something to talk about.

AND FINALLY… Anyone who knows me knows I love a good pun. Came across these pics below of company names that I wish I had invented.

I love ’em all.

Enjoy!




Til next time.



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