The Long A.A.R.M. of Steve O…

Aimless Assemblage of Rambling Musings of an
over-caffeinated, slightly ajar yet well-meaning writer.

Taking the FUN out of Fundamental…
The one and only Yogi Berra once said Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.”

It’s hard to argue with that kind of Pretzel Logic, or any other Steely Dan album title. And yesterday, we were reminded once again that in sports, much like the real world, those who have the mental aptitude to stare down defeat in the face and rise to the proverbial occasion, are those that will more often not win every battle they find themselves in.

I’m referring to the 2009 Masters. Kenny Perry, God love him, stared down defeat and pressure for 70 holes and the whole world wondered aloud, ‘what’ya think? He wears like a 44 long, right?’

Unfortunately the Masters is played over 72 holes and not 70, and hence someone else ended up being fitted for a green jacket and not Kenny.

Up 2 shots with 2 to play to win the biggest tournament in the sport, Kenny Perry imploded. Face it, Angel Cabrera did not win the Masters, Kenny Perry lost it.

Knowing all he needed to do was to shoot par on 18th, Kenny Perry self-destructed.

Paraphrasing Billy Joel…

“But here you are on the 18th
Up 1 one, just need a par to wear the green
Nowhere to look but inside
Where we all respond to
Pressure”

Look, I do not mean to come down on Kenny Perry. Face it, most of us would have responded the same way. There are only so many Tiger Woods and Michael Jordans in the world.

So, for 70 holes, Kenny Perry was having a whole lot of fun.

For the 4 holes subsequent, Kenny’s fun-damentals folded under the pressure.

All You Zombies…
Did you catch this one? I swear I wish I could make this stuff up, but fortunately I don’t need to.

Former Cheers star Woody Harrelson had another (yes another) run in with a TMZ photographer, this time at a New York airport this past Wednesday night. And he blamed his actions thusly:

“I wrapped a movie called ‘Zombieland,’ in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie.”

Quite understandably?

Woodman, would love nothing more than to defend you in this as truth be told, the photog is the quintessential paparazzi – annoying, insulting, rude, crass and on and on.

But this is the best you can do re: an excuse?

What if Jack Nicholson was “still very much in character” after filming The Shining and arrived at the airport wielding an hatchet screaming “Heeeere’s Johnny!”

Actually that would have been kind of cool. Ok, I’m kidding! Lighten up!

If you haven’t seen the video, it’s quite hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

Til next time.


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